Modern people have become worse at understanding each other. Widespread digitalization is partly to blame. We spend most of our time online, and we often text instead of talking face to face. Gradually, we become more emotionally numb and less empathetic, simply because we don’t actually see the person we’re talking to. In a way, we build our own barriers that prevent us from forming both friendships and meaningful relationships. But there’s good news: it is absolutely possible to learn how to read body language through a screen. How to do that — we’ll explain below.
What we lose in text-only communication
In face-to-face contact, we receive a huge amount of important information. Nonverbal cues can convey up to 90% of the data about a person’s true intentions and emotions. Texting strips us of all of that. We don’t see facial expressions or gestures, we don’t hear the tone of voice. All we have is text — and we’re left guessing what emotion was behind the words.
Text communication also depersonalizes the other person. When we only exchange messages, our brain doesn’t perceive them as a full-fledged individual, but rather as some abstract image. As a result, our emotional involvement drops, because it’s hard to feel empathy when you’re essentially talking to an “avatar”.
Another issue with texting is the inability to see the chat partner’s reaction right away. In a live conversation, we immediately notice how our words affect someone. We can change the topic if we see that something has upset or offended them. In text, it’s very easy to miss subtle changes in their behavior.
On top of that, without sound, many phrases become ambiguous. For example, “Of course” can be understood in completely different ways. Someone will read it as simple agreement, while someone else will take it as a sarcastic remark. That’s why misunderstandings and conflicts over nothing are so common in text-only communication.
Video chat as a “bridge” between virtual and real life
When we interact with someone in person, our mirror neurons are activated. They’re responsible for helping us read the other person’s emotions and intentions. They also make us “mirror” their actions — for example, smile back when someone smiles at us. In text-based communication, mirror neurons don’t really get involved simply because we don’t see the other person. But during video calls, they become “active” again. And that’s one of the key reasons why our brain perceives communication in a video service as real, full-fledged social interaction.
When we talk in a videochat, all the nonverbal signals that are missing in texting become available to us again. We can see a smile, hear someone’s tone of voice, and watch their facial expressions and gestures. That’s why in video platforms we tend to show much more interest in the person we’re talking to and build a connection with them much faster. We’re no longer dealing with an abstract image, but with a real, live person we naturally want to get to know.
And when it comes to making new connections, random chats like CooMeet.chat are a great tool for getting to know different people. Video communication saves time — if the person isn’t a good match for the type of conversation you’re looking for, you just click “Next”, and within a few seconds you’re already meeting someone new. You don’t have to spend weeks messaging only to find out that you don’t have much in common when you finally speak face to face.
On top of that, chatting in an online chat is also safe. You’re at home and can end the conversation at any moment. Plus, you can be sure that there’s a real person on the other side of the screen. On the video chat with woman CooMeet, every user verifies their profile, so there are no fake accounts or bots.
But to make your video conversation go well, you should prepare a little:
- Take care of the lighting. It’s important that the other person can see you clearly. Natural daylight or artificial light will both work. The main thing is to make sure your face is well lit.
- Remove distractions. Use headphones so the sound is clear. Also make sure there’s no visual “clutter” in the background that could distract your chat partner.
- Find the right angle. Ideally, place your camera at eye level. During the conversation, try to look into the camera rather than at your own image on the screen. This creates the feeling that you’re looking the other person in the eyes.
- Create a cozy atmosphere. It’s important that nothing pulls your attention away from the conversation. Choose a quiet spot at home where you feel comfortable and can relax.
In a videochat, it’s absolutely possible to build meaningful connections based on real feelings rather than self-deception and illusions. The main thing is not to be afraid to open up to new people and new connections.
How to develop the skill of “digital empathy”
This is not a skill you can fully develop through texting. It’s important that you can see and hear the person in real time. A video chat works best for this. Start with a few simple exercises:
- Active listening. This exercise helps you truly hear what the other person is saying and really take it in. Listen carefully and ask questions to show that you’re engaged in the conversation. Also pay attention to your partner’s pace and volume of speech. Sometimes intonation and tone of voice can tell you more than the actual words.
- Reading body language. A lot can be understood from a person’s posture. If their arms are crossed over their chest, it often means they’re trying to “close themselves off”. Gestures and small actions also give people away. If someone keeps touching their face or adjusting their clothes, they’re most likely nervous and feeling uncomfortable. Your task is to try to ease the tension. Maybe you just need to make a light joke or switch the topic.
- Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Try to understand what they’re feeling in that moment and let yourself experience those emotions. Think about how you would react and what you would say in response. This practice teaches you to “read” a person on an emotional level and helps you develop empathy.
If you do these exercises regularly, you’ll learn to understand someone online almost as well as if they were sitting right in front of you in a coffee shop. Videochat is a great tool for building empathy. These platforms have a large audience and very different types of chat partners. You might start out talking to someone open and cheerful, and then be paired with a more reserved person who requires a different approach. Over time, you’ll learn to understand and “feel” very different personalities.
But how do you show openness when there’s a screen between you? Don’t be afraid to show your emotions — in a video service, you can be however you are: fun, sad, thoughtful. The main thing is not to hide behind neutral phrases, but to honestly talk about what’s on your mind. When you do that, the other person is less likely to be afraid of being genuine too. That’s when your conversations become truly deep.
At the same time, it’s important not to give in to the urge to seem better than you really are. You don’t need to be the perfect chat partner or constantly monitor your every move. Be authentic: if you misspeak or make a lame joke by accident — that’s totally fine. Moments like these show that you’re a real person, not a robot.
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